A beauty and lifestyle blog.

Thursday, 20 August 2015


I have wanted to do a personal post for so long, like for over a year, and this is literally just me speaking from my heart. Please forgive my grammer etc because I am just writing whatever comes into my head so it's not going to be the most eloquent of reads... well, I'll try...

So, I am 22 years old and today is Tuesday 18th August, 2015, 4:07pm, why am I writing this as a diary extract, I don't know.

Starting from the beginning, I went to Coventry University to study English Literature and Law and I am so glad I am out of the eduction system. I found it stifling, suffocating and lonely, especially at University. My first year at University was amazing, from commuting everyday with my college friends and being in a new environment made a healthy change. However, because I was with my college friends in the first year, I hadn't gone out of my way to make new friends at University to be with on my lunch breaks etc as I was always with my college friends. So when my college friends decided to pursue another avenue other than University, I found myself isolated in the second and third year at University. Consequently, I found myself literally going to and from my classes and then home because I found there was no one for me to be comfortable with as everyone had paired themselves with someone or a group and because I found there was no one I could relate with. Dare I say it, a lot of brown people at University are extremely white washed and are desperate to run to be with the 'cool white crowd' they forget their own and will greet you one day and blank you the next day. Which resulted in me growing the fuck up, excuse my language but I really did. I'm not saying I only wanted to surround myself with brownies but it's good manners to acknowledge your own AND to not FORGET your own. Nonetheless, I kept pleasantries with everyone, don't get me wrong, I'm not a rude person. But a lot of people are. Remember that.

Fast forward two years, and I graduated, through tears of frustration and joy, I graduated Alhamdulilah. But I was tired and couldn't wait to graduate because I just wanted it over and done with. I didn't want to see the people I had to see day in and day out and after I got my certificate, I cried in the back seat of my Dad's car thinking 'what the fuck was my University experience...it was absolutely shit!', but I pushed my tears aside because I didn't want my family to see my crying like an idiot but I was just quiet the entire day.

Your probably thinking, 'Why didn't you join clubs, make friends, persevere?' , but I did all that but to no avail. Everyone around me and certain individuals were so fake and it was all a pretence and this was my initial step into adulthood; doing everything yourself being independent and not relying on 'friends' for help. Now, this may seem pessimistic but I am merely being realistic. Not everything is all fairy lights and pretty, and adult life is far from it. What's more is I loved learning what I did during University, my modules were interesting (mostly) and I 100% believe education not only enriches your mind, but your soul and encourages and motivates the self and without learning what I did at University I wouldn't be the woman I am, currently, now.  Wow, I haven't written (or typed) in such a long time, feels good ha!

Now that University is long gone (in my eyes, thank God), when I completed University, I had literally, no clue as to what to do, where to start and I actually got my first EVER job at the age of 21 after 6 months of finishing University, in retail- 'Selfridges- Fragrance /Men's Grooming Consultant'. I know your probably thinking RETAIL?? YOU WENT TO UNI FOR RETAIL?? But I needed the money and when student loans stopped and my grants etc I was a broke ass #realtalk. I even remember a rude girl at my graduation telling me to not settle in retail as 'advice' and I was like 'bishh..where's your job???'. A job is a job folks, they don't teach you that in University. If you are studying a degree which follows a linear path i.e. a science degree where you have placement/ work experience, then that's great. But I'm talking about those of us who didn't know which path to take.It is hard to find a job straight away, VERY HARD.

"But persevere, because it will happen and remember where you are now does not indicate where you will be."

So, I worked during Christmas and found myself a voluntary job/experience as a "Health and Beauty Writer" for "DesiBlitz.com" (Check it out, tres cool!) since I want to become a Beauty Journalist. One of my recommendations would be to find out what you want to do, or if not that, the area of expertise you want to work for, and get a job there. For example, since I would like to become a Beauty Journalist, (Inshallah- god willing) I write on my Beauty Blog, do YouTube videos, work in Beauty retail and write as a Beauty writer as well as pray and try to be as positive as I can.

I am in no means where I want to be but I know how hard it is and I have wanted to write down my feelings about this topic just because there is just so much to say. 

Now, onto life currently, I have been offered two jobs, one on a premium Brand and other a more theatrical brand because of my hard work and the opportunities I created myself.

 Opportunities don't just find themselves in front of you, you make your own opportunities.

Instead of lamenting, 'I don't know what I'm doing!?', figure out what you want to do, there has to be something,or volunteer so you find out what you DON'T want to do and create your own opportunities. I still need to do this. But I know this. Life isn't handed to you on a silver platter, so pick up that frikkin fork and knife and delve into the world; this vast and plentiful world full of enriching endeavours for you to find yourself upon to nourish your self, life and those around you. 

Just start your journey and don't stop until you find yourself happy or at least content. 

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